Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
