:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
