so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
