I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
