I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
