just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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