I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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