I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
