If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
