hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
no you cant smoke seaweed
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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