ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize