what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
