Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
organizing the empties. That sober.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
