I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
