Sry I called you an 8
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Panties = found
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
