hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he thought i was a dude.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize