I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
