Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
