She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
