she was so not down for the gang bang
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
