Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
