good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
