The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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