I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we're making bets on your personal life
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
