She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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