Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
