No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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