Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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