I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize
