Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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