I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
