a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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