we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
