We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
