at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I want her autograph on my taint
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
