Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
