I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I want to be your penis for a week.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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