i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
