matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
