I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Two words: blizzard sex
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
