do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
