thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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