Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
