I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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