oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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