Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
