She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
