she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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