I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
