I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
