summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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