Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize