guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
