Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
