My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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