margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
