I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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