He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We are two peas in an std pod
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
