But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
